FEELING FOR SOMEONE AWAY..............

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT
OR WHY IT'S STILL HEREBUT EVEN WHEN YOU'RE FAR AWAY
YOU STILL FEEL NEAR

YOU STILL GIVE ME SHIVERS
AND ALL THESE CHILLS
YOU GIVE ME THIS TYPE OF HIGH
LIKE NO OTHER PILLS COULD

YOU STILL MAKE ME LAUGH
EVEN IN MY WORST MOMENTS
BUT THE ONE THING I LOVE ABOUT YOU-
YOU ALWAYS SHOW YOU CARE

I REALLY DO LOVE YOU
AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO
ALL I WANNA KNOW IS............
DO YOU FEEL THE SAME?

TO RYAN:

YOU HAVE SO MUCH THAT I NEED
YOUR HEART AND LOVE IS WHAT I BREATHE
WHENEVER WE ARE TOGETHER I PRAY,
THAT THIS WILL LAST FOREVER AND A DAY.

I LOVE WHEN YOU CALL AND WE TALK FOR HOURS
I'D TAKE THAT OVER ANY MONEY OR POWERS

FOR YOU I'D WALK 10,000 MILES
FOR YOU I'D GIVE 10,000 SMILES
I LOVE YOU TO MY DEEPEST NEEDS

YOUR LOVE.............................
ON WHICH I FEED.

The mornings

I love the peace and quite in the mornings.
I hear the coffee maker brewing my Hazelnut coffee
and it smells good.
I hear several Cardinals outside on our birdfeeder.
The kitten(Boots) making noise at the birds.
She wants to go outside and attack them.
I hear other birds in the distance along
with some geese nearby.
I can also hear a few cars driving on the nearby
street. As they drive through puddles on the wet street.
I hear the wind blowing through the trees.

The peace and quite in the mornings.
And the coffee is done. I need my morning
coffee to get me going.

THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE A GOOD DAY

Well I thought that it was going to be a good day.
A good night's rest and I had(have) my mind set on
doing something with my life.
I am thinking of going back to school-
to broaden my career.
I even went to the school and checked out
the program and the cost of tuituion.
I thought it wasn't bad.
But now I am down in the dumps.
After long hard thoughts and determined
to do this...and after talking with the mother-in-law,
I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to do this even if I have to work 3 jobs
to get the money to this for myself and what I thought
was for my family too.
So I am going to do this.
I am tired of being in a dead end job and being
depressed and feeling worthless at what I am doing
with my life.
So wish me luck in finding another job to add to my
already hetic life.
Thanks for listening.......................................

He's gone...............

Well, the story of my realtionship with Mr. Wolf ( better know as BBW) has left AGAIN on another job. But that is good for us. Hey at least he's on the same time zone and only 7 hours away. But still, more lonely nights sleeping in the bed ALONE, being cold and having to grap an extra blanket.
Even though we only had a short time together, IT WAS REALLY AWESOME!!!!!
It was nice having someone to cuddle with at night and actually say " I LOVE YOU" to that persons face. AAAWWWWW!!!! I miss him though.
He came home at a really bad time in my life right now. Trying to figure what I'm gonna do with my life and the onset of DEPRESSION. He was and is helpful in very many ways.
I have some new ideas I'm throwing around in my head but need to make the first step in doing them.
I've just been depressed with my job lately and wanting to sleep all the time and not deal with anything.
But I believe tomorrow I am going to make a baby step toward trying to come out of it.
Besides" TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY".
Loved that movie-GONE WITH THE WIND.

Annoyed part-2

Ok, the resurant I work at we usually have to be there on Sat. and Sun. at 6:30am,to open for breakfast at 7am.
The owner decided to change the hours to 9am-open;so therefore we have to be in at 8:30am.
I thought it was a great idea since we don't start getting tables until 10am anyway. So I'm thinking-great I get to sleep an extra hour. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bartender calls me at 6:45am-'cause I'm suppose to open and I also have keys. Anyway,
NO ONE BOTHERED TO INFORM HER OF THIS CHANGE IN TIME................
The bar manager nor the general manager didn't inform her. So I'm pissed due to the fact I don't feel well and could've used the extra sleep.
This is the type of place I work at.
This was going to be the last weekend for breakfast and then I (the headwaitress) found out that we're only going to do Sun. breakfast.
Come on people get your act together.Learn how to run a freaking business and how to communiciate with your staff.
So I'm off to get ready for a fun day. YEAH RIGHT...............
Stay tuned to see what else annoys me......today.

Annoyed

Well I awoken this morning not feeling too well. It feels like the FLU.GREAT, just what I need.
I've spent the day on the sofa, letting my daughter baby. But now I'm on my own-she's at work.
I had to take to her work. It seemed like every stupid person was out on the road.
It may just be me not feeling well, but they seemed like they couldn't go through the GREEN lights quick enough, or they want to suddenly stop in the middle of the road and then put on their blinkers.
I stopped at the store for some orange juice and it seemed like the 2 cashiers were working in slow motion. You don't go to a convient store to do your grocery shopping either. This couple was doing grocery shopping at WAWA. OH DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must've been in there for 20 mins. But I got the orange juice and came home.
At least I don't have to deal with the stupid people again until I have to go pickup my daughter.
Well, I'm off to the sofa again to rest and relax. Hopefully I can get some sleep while I'm alone.

Just another night at work

Well, I dreaded going to work. But I actually ended up having a GOOD time. I actually had a couple of tables that were FUN!!!!!!!!!!
I even stayed afterwards and had 2 beers. (at our happy hour price).
And had good talks with friends too. So it wasn't so bad.
And hey, I even made more than $15.00. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well, it's off to bed. Hoping I get a GREAT night sleep. Mr. Wolf is coming
home on Sun. (so I need to get rested up)LOL!!!!! Then he leaves on Tues.
oh well, that is his job. I miss him dearly and can't wait to see him.
Oh yea, the quit smoking?
Well, it's not going too well. It's hard when you work were you around
smokers ALL THE TIME. I'm not smoking as much as I did before so
I think I'm doing ok.
DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I HAVE NO WILL POWER.....................

To someone special

YOU ARE MY ENTIRE BEING,
THE WORLD WHICH I STAND.
THE STRENGTH WHICH ENRICHES ME,
PLEASE TAKE ME BY MY HAND.

AND LEAD ME TO OUR PARADISE,
SOFT WORDS YOU'LL WHISPER TO ME,
HOLD ME TIGHT WITHIN YOUR ARMS,
AND LET OUR HEARTS FLY FREE.

For someone whom I love very much and miss very much.
Can't wait to see you my love,
not in my dreams,
face to face,
arms in arms
lips to lips.

Restful night

It was chilly outside so I slept with windows open. It felt great. Listening to the wind
blowing through the trees and the leaves rustling.
My friendly companion, Flower(our cat) curled up next to me. As I was petting her I fell asleep. I awoke at 3:30 am to a chill and Flower was laying on my head, which she does alot, and pulled the other blanket over me. AAAHHHH!!!
It was so nice. I slept until about 8:30am. That was great.
It's still a little chilly outside today. I have all the windows open to let the fresh cool breeze in.
I just hope that it's really cool tonight so that I may sleep good again.

I have to work tonight and I'm not looking forward to it. It's gonna be A NO MONEY NIGHT!!!!
I worked yesterday for 6 hours and walked with $15.00 and only had 3 tables. Come on.
I did go apply somewhere else today. I need a job that will allow me to study and make the possible career change that I want to make.
But we shall see how tonight turns out.
That's another story for later or tomorrow.
So stayed tuned.
Same blog
Maybe different time
Hopefully a different story.
Until .......................................

DIDN'T SLEEP WELL

Do you ever have a restless night?
Maybe bad dreams?
You hear a noise or something and it
awakens you.
Do you ever lay in bed and stare at the ceiling or the clock?
Do random thoughts run through your mind?
Do you get out of bed and pace the floor
back and forth?
All of this happened to me last night?

SO -SO DAY OFF

Well it's been a pretty good day off. I slept in until 10a.m.(that is a record for me).
But I got up feeling achy all over and thought a nice hot shower would help. IT DIDN'T. I guess with the quit smoking my body is going through alot of changes.
So my daughter and I went out to lunch, her treat and then went to the mall. And then to the movies and we say Barnyard Animals. It was cute. I like Kevin James and he was a voice in it(Doug from King of Queens). So it turned out to be a pretty good day. Until a co-worker calls me AT HOME ON MY DAY OFF, about her schedule for Thurs. I told her to talk to the mgr. 'cause I'm not a mgr. just the HEAD WAITRESS, and I wasn't dealing with work issues today on my day off. I don't think she liked that but oh well. I'm not paid to be a mgr. and they wouldn't be able to pay me enough to be a mgr.
So chalk one up for little ole me!!!!
Now it's R&R time for me.
I have a glass of wine and I'm gonna RELAX a little.
More later. If not then tomorrow.

GRUMPY

So which of the seven dwarfs are you today or tonight?
I am so feeling like GRUMPY.
Maybe a little bit like SLEEPY, too.
More like GRUMPY though.
How can I feel better?
Should I have a cig? That will make me feel better.
I've had 3 glasses of wine and that surely didn't help.
Any suggestion???????????????????

In a slump.........................

Oh what do I say????????
My day has been somewhat boring, probably like any other day in my life. So I thought I'd lay on the sofa and watch some t.v. Well, I ended up watching "General Hospital".(shows that I had previously recorded).
After watching a few shows,only 2; I got to thinking. Maybe my life isn't all that boring, after seeing what some of them are going through. I mean come on, they are actors but some of the story lines hit home.
I mean do you ever wondering, "what am I suppose to me doing, where am I going?"
Or what is wrong with me.
Maybe I'm feeling a little down and depressed, I don't know.
The only thing I have to look forward to tonight is the football game-STEELERS.
But is that enough.
Maybe I'll go cook dinner. I have been snacking most of the afternoon, since I am trying to quit smoking(and it's not working). I wanna go buy a pack of cigs right now.
So I'm gonna go cook dinner for me and my daughter. We're having salmon.
More later.

Thanks to Freddie..........

Thank you Freddie!!!!! For what you say?
For adding me to your blog list. (as soon as BBW gets home and shows me how to do that, you'll be on there for sure).
I really appreciate it. I'm actually getting alot of readers and comments and that makes me feel GOOD!!!!!
So thanks once again to FREDDIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good night to all.........................

Love.............................

The first duty of love- - -
is to listen.

Love means never having to say
your sorry.

Love is like a taste of
paradise.

To love someone is to see miracle
invisable to others.

Love is like- -
a flower that blooms and grows.

What is love like to you?
To everyone it is something different
in different ways.
Some people never find true love
Some people are scared to look true
love in the face
Some people have true love
and never know it, until it's
too late.

PEACE AND QUITE...........

AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Not a sound, just the t.v. playing in the background. It's very quite here tonight. I just dropped my daughter off at work and I AM ALL ALONE IN THE HOUSE. Oh what shall I do??????
I thought about cleanning. Nope! It can wait until Mon. my day off. I thought about doing some studying. Nope! It can wait too.
I think I'll just curl up on the sofa and watch t.v. until I drift off to sleep. It rainy outside so that makes for perfect napping weather. I'll find a boring movie to watch and drift off to nevernever land.
Wait!! I haven't been alone in the house in awhile. Whatever shall I do???
Sofa here I come..........
Until a later time. Nevernever land is calling me, no it's whispering to me.
Sweet dreams for now.

Well it started out to be pretty hard in the morning, NOT SMOKING.
But I got through it. Usually when I'm at work and I am BORED, I go outside and light up a cig. We'll thank goodness today WAS NOT a boring day. I stayed pretty busy for the most part. Probably the busiest I've in 2 weeks.
I even hung out in the bar, where the smokers sit; and it didn't really bother me. Except, I could really smell the smoke from the cig. UCK!!!!!!!
I did EAT alot today too. But hey, I could use the pounds; since I've lost like 6 pounds in the past few weeks. So maybe quitting smoking will help me gain weight.
I went shopping for new jeans on Tues. I was upset that I had to get a "0" instead of a "3".
Yeah, imiagne being 40 and wearing a size 0 or even a 3. What can I say? I took after my mother, may she be looking over me now and smiling.
Well, off to bed and back up at 530 am for work.

Trying to quit

I am a smoker. I am trying to quit-again. Last night my 15 yr. old daughter "asked me to please quit". WOW!!! So that made such an impression on me I went out and bought the gum.
I am doing for her, my hubby(BBW) and myself. I already have enough health issues I don't need anymore.
So this is gonna be hard on me especially when I'm thinking of a career change too.
Wish me luck.