oil change

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN :
>1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the
last oil change.
>2) Drink a cup of coffee.
>3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
maintained vehicle.
>
>Money spent:
>Oil Change $20.00
>Coffee $1.00
>Total $21.00
>==========================================================
>
>Oil Change instructions for Men :

>1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of
oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check
for $50.00.
>2) Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive
home.
>3) Open a beer and drink it.
>4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
>5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>7) Place drain pan under engine.
>8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
>10) Unscrew drain plug.
>11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in
process. Cuss.
>12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
>13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
>14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
>15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil
filter and twist off.
>16) Crawl out from under! Car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
>17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
>Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage
door opener.
>18) Sunday: Skip church because 'I gotta finish the oil change.' Drag
pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole
in back yard instead of taking it back to Kragen to recycle.
>19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
>20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
>21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.
>23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
>25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard,
along with drain plug.
>27) Drink beer.
>28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily
dirt into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily
patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in
lawnmower gas.
>29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw
kitty litter on oil spill.
>30) Drink beer.
>31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with
oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench
tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
>32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
>33) Begin cussing fit.
>34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
>35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
>36) Beer.
>37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood
flow.
>38) Beer.
>39) Beer.
>40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
>41) Beer.
>42) Lower car from jack stands.
>43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
>44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled
during steps 23 - 43.
>45) Beer.
>46) Test drive car.
>47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
>48) Car gets impounded.
>49) Call loving wife, make bail.
>50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.
>
>Money spent:
>
>Parts $50.00
>DUI $2500.00
>Impound fee $75.00
>Bail $1500.00
>Beer $40.00
>Total - - $4,165.00
>
>But you know the job was done right!

My hubby would agree with this

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life. Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself. If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Micheal Buble

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDQnkYwfNfk

"HOME" is the name of this song and video.
Micheal Buble is one of my favorite singers. He's really awesome.
And cute too.
Enjoy.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Well guys and gals
here she is "41" years ago today. Aug. 25,1966. Taken one hour after I was born.
Weighing in at 5 lbs. 10oz.
She's grown now.
103 lbs. and 5'2".
My mom always said I had the "mouth of the south". I still yell and scream, just like the day I was born. LOL!!!!!!

I just wish my mother was here to celebrate this day with me. But I know that she is looking down on me today smiling and wishing me her best. I do miss my mother. Today belongs to her just as much as it does to me. She's the one that had to endure the labor and not to mention that she had me nautrally, and I WAS BORN FEET FIRST. She said that I came out kicking and screaming, and that I'd always land on my feet. That is why I came out feet first.
She refused any drugs and wouldn't let them turn me around. Not to mention that I was born early too. AT 24 Wks. and the doctors said I wouldn't make it.
I'd like to prove them wrong.
I love my mother
and miss her very much.

What a night at work???????

It started out as any other night.
Until about 9:00 p.m.
One patient refused to get in the bed.
Talked her into getting into bed. Me being my silly self
was cutting up with her and making my co-workers laugh.
It took 4 of us to get her into bed. Did you hear me "4 people".
Well, get her into bed and she starts fighting with me and another
co-worker. Grabbing coworkers arms. Then proceeds to grabs mine.
I get loose while she's hitting the other girl. Then she reaches up and
grabs a hand full of my hair. I asked her to let go and she refused.
I hate to have my hair pulled. So I tell her " YOUR MESSING UP MY
DO". She pulls harder and then finally lets go; and says:"WHAT DO?"
I laughed.
Then she said she was gonna call the police. I told her go ahead.
I told her "I'LL DIAL THE NUMBER FOR YOU."
After that she didn't say another word the rest of the night.

Some of the things older people come up with to say.
Can't wait to see what tomorrow night brings.
We shall see.
Oh but wait there is a FULL MOON on Tues. the 28Th.
GREAT! That is when ALL THE FREAKS COME OUT......

Long time ,no write

It's been awhile since I've been on here. I have been busy.

My daughter from Texas came to visit and we had a GREAT time. Now she is back in TX. and I miss her so much. She is the one that was in the car accident back in June. And her forehead where she had stitches, looks pretty good. She is now "15". Gosh, they grow up so fast. And not to mention that Heather the one that lives with me, is "16". I have to say, that I have 2 very beautiful daughters. I am very proud of them both.

And my hubby;BBW is in Kansas-AGAIN. He's scheduled to be there until Dec. 1st. He left on the 13th of this mth. This will be the longest we have ever been away from each other.

And next Sat. (the 25th) is my birthday. I'll be "41" and I will be celebrating it ALONE. It's just another year. With BBW in Kansas, trying to find the Yellow Brick Road{LOL}, and Heather is going to West Va. with our friend, I will be ALONE. Me and the animals.

Any ideas on what I should do-by myself???????

I will write more later.

But for now here's a pic of me and my beautiful girls.

Heather, Me, and Errin